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| Asa, king of Judah, seeks help from Syria when Israel is attacking/surrounding Judah. God ends Hanani the seer to see Asa and to rebuke him. "For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him. You have done foolishly in this, for from now on you will have wars. Then Asa was angry with the seer and put him in the stocks in prison, for he was in a rage with him because of this. And Asa inflicted cruelties upon some of the people at the time." ~2 Chronicles 16:9-10 I feel a great sadness and conviction as I read this section, thinking about Asa and all the wonderful things he did during his reign, in restoring the worship of God, of purifying his land from idols and idolatry and idolaters, and of seeking to please the Lord and trusting in Him even when faced with a much larger army against him. And here he is at the end of his life, giving up and seeking help from another (Syria) instead of God. How fickle a human heart! How sad its condition! It can see the faithfulness of God and turn aside from it so quickly. And where there was once sense, there develops a lack of faith and an irrational cruelty. How much I wish that Asa had not turned aside, but I see how easy it is for me to turn aside... I seek the help of men (even friends) over seeking it from God, or I run to books and not to God. I too need to turn back and find my support in God, and ask Him for grace to keep my heart blameless toward God, for He gives "support to those whose heart is blameless toward him."
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| i'm alive.
i wonder sometimes whether i really understand that... i really take it for granted a lot...
i don't know who reads xanga anymore, but just a little update:
i am currently in nyc in charles' apartment in chinatown. he's been generous enough to let me stay here for the past two nights. i left ithaca on friday (august 7) on a long road trip. and pretty much since the moment i left i have had many problems, kinks, frustrations, issues, etc. it kind of climaxed (i hope...) on monday afternoon. ann yang and i were driving down from boston to nyc on i-95s, when we hit inexplicable (and sovereignly gracious) traffic (i don't see why there was traffic at all). i was just talking to ann about how i hated traffic cuz it's usually caused my curious drivers slowing down for an accident.... and then we got into an accident ourselves. it was almost bumper to bumper traffic, and when the suv in front of us inched forward, we moved forward... but when i tried to slowly brake, the brake just fell; i tried again, and it didn't work. so i crashed into the car in front of me. we were going at like... 3-5 mph probably? i'm not sure, but it was enough to dent the front of my car a bunch. the suv and all passengers involved were physically fine, and the man in front of us was actually very kind (he called me earlier today to check on me and to update me). the suv was fine; a little while paint from my car on his towing thingamabob (little metal stub for towing stuff on the back of some suv's).
i am writing in great thankfulness because if there weren't traffic and we had to brake while going 70+ mph (as we were going), i would not be writing this right now; i would probably be dead... so it is real grace, i believe, that even though this happened, it was more "controlled" than it otherwise might have been... as ann says, it could have been worse... and i am hugely thankful for ann and her courage and coolness during this ordeal; she's a tough cookie =) and i am thankful for brothers and sisters and friends who called/texted/IM-ed, etc. asking if i was ok... a really good friend (who is in ithaca) even texted asking whether i needed to be picked up (while i was in CT, several hours away)... haha i think it's funny now, but i was really deeply touched by the encouragement and gentleness during this....
but... the brakes failed! like what the heck? haha = T turns out the brake line was rotted and going out anyway, but it was probably from another accident i had the day before that when i popped a tired and hit a sidewalk.... [since i left ithaca, i had 4 increasingly severe accidents in 4 days - one each day]. the car is in connecticut, and as i am writing this, it is hopefully getting both brake lines replaced; then i need to go pick it up today (in an hour) and drive it back to nyc... tmro i am driving to new hampshire for training for my internship campus crusade for Christ [where i am still a little bit shy in terms of financial support - still hopeful though - if any of you who are reading feel led to give or just to know a little of what's up, click here] and then on sunday night i am driving back to nyc... then after that i dunno what i'm gonna be doing... but i'm clocking up to about 20+ hours of driving over a week and probably about 1500 miles of driving... that may not seem like much, but i am weak, then, i guess haha. but i love driving so it's ok; it's just more about whether there will be more problems later on.
thus, please pray, if you are a prayer man or woman, for traveling mercies; surely God has orchestrated these events for a reason... to humble me? to make me conscious of my ephemeral nature? to show His provision and grace? all of the above and more? but yea, please pray that i would learn and trust in Him through both support raising for my internship and also for His plan and purpose in His sovereign will...
aite... time to go pick up the car!
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| from "Of First Importance" “The more I see of Jesus, the more He opens to me His loving heart, the deeper is my sorrow for sin. I lie down in the dust of His feet closer than ever I did before. I can truly say I abhor myself in dust and ashes before Him. My heart seems ready to melt into contrition in view of the ten thousand thousand sins, willful and aggravating, that I have committed against Him, who loved me with an everlasting love, and with loving kindness drew me to Himself.” - Mary Winslow
i want to be able to say that. | | |
| http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=3196
my life and my heart are often so faulty and disjointed... | | |
| i love this messagetoday is the first time i've heard it, and i will undoubtedly listen to it again.
i commend it to you all:
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